Nicholas Snow's Notes From The World: Apollo Manuel “Joy” Degula—Making Beautiful in the Philippines

Photos of Apollo Manuel “Joy” Degula by Nicholas Snow

Nicholas Snow's Notes From The World: Apollo Manuel “Joy” Degula—Making Beautiful in the Philippines

The day before the deadline for this particular installment, I was sitting in Coffee Society, a very gay friendly, 24-hour venue in the heart of Bangkok offering free WiFi, and hence, my “office” of sorts. In the earlier part of my day a person came in who no longer speaks to me—he basically stopped speaking to me completely upon learning that I was going to have a press conference announcing I had become HIV positive. He stated it was a terrible idea and cautioned that people would think (and perhaps he does) that I was doing it to become famous. Seeing him gives me a feeling I describe as “a heartbreak that has dropped to the pit of my stomach.”

Later this same day, a young man entered the establishment with this huge smile on his face and came directly toward me and introduced himself. It turns out his nickname is Joy, but when his parents named him Apollo they most likely had a different child in mind, as evidenced by his story. I learned from Joy that he used to have unsafe sex, and then one day used Google to learn about people living with HIV. He found the YouTube video of my October 8th, 2008, coming-out-HIV-positive press conference, held at the Foreign Correspondents Club of Thailand.

“That encouraged me to have, to practice safe sex when I saw that video of yours on YouTube in the public forum in Thailand, and I find out how important to have, to live with safe sex,” Joy explained.

Wow. This was a much needed uplift for me personally, but I share it with you as well to demonstrate how “expressing the truth of our lives” does actually transform the planet. It’s our collective connectedness and none of us can do any of this alone.

For a time Joy faced hard times after coming out to his conservative Catholic parents at the age of eight years old (yes, you read that correctly). He says he did this by telling them with his “gay gestures” and ultimately in a conversation which lead to a three-year intervention by his parents to change him. Did they send him to a church program, I wondered? You’ll laugh, maybe hysterically, at the answer. It turns out his parents enrolled him in Boys Brigade training! “It’s not an intervention for me,” he said with laughter.

“In the Philippines, if they know that you are gay, the treatment is not fair,” Joy explained when reflecting on his coming out. “I already felt the unfair treatment between me and to my other siblings, so what I did is I tried to show it to them that it is not a hindrance for me to move on and to enjoy my childhood even though they are not with me, even though nobody is supporting me financially.” The family agreed he would live with his aunt which he did from age 11. While his extended family accepts him, his parents still do not.

For those with different beliefs or none, the question of God may or may not be relevant, but clearly, for Joy and Catholics throughout the world, this conflict goes on. Joy explained he tells God, “Don’t read my mind, just look at my heart.” He told me, “Religion is only a representation of a group, but if you know who is God, and what salvation is all about, that’s it. Whether you’re gay or lesbian…you don’t choose to be gay. I did not choose to be gay. It’s not my choice.”

Now, age 19, Joy lives alone in a small “pad” in Manila where, as he puts it, he is “a plain, normal gay.” He works as a stylist where, as he puts it, “I beautify people. I beautify ugly ones to make them extraordinary.”

Joy has had other glamorous adventures as well, including involvement with a popular Sunday morning TV program on regional channel GMA7 in Cebu where he was one of the Vega Dolls. He was Vega Tron, and appeared with Vega My, Vega Voom and Vega Star. He explained, “It’s an inspirational segment for gays, because gay community, homosexual in the Philippines is very closed, very discreet, especially in the Christian places. We try to reach out to gay people, and gay in the closet, to come out of the closet and show to the world they are gay. It’s like inspiration, showing the power of gays, the capability.”

Further demonstrating that power, Joy volunteers for a private foundation coaching his peers throughout the Philippines about HIV/AIDS awareness and safer sex. In these classes, around the topic of testing, people ask about those who test positive. “People think that if you are HIV positive you are useless,” Joy explained. It is at this point in his seminar where Joy shows people my photos, specifically of me at events from year to year, to provide an example of someone living happily and healthily with HIV. Wow!

Joy had his most recent HIV test at a clinic in Thailand. There were eight people in the clinic at the time and he explained the other seven came out of the counseling room in tears, which he believes was an indication they had tested positive. Granted, they could have been tears of relief from a negative result but I’m not betting on that one. Joy remains committed to safer sex practices, and to his efforts to share this knowledge with others.

I thank Joy and so many doing what he does. He thanked me, explaining “People who live with HIV, they are shy, they are hiding it now, but you show, you keep everybody aware, you inform everybody that you are HIV positive, which is really good. It’s a good intervention to make people be open and not to be shy, not to hide…” Granted, coming out HIV positive is not for everyone. Give this great thought if you are considering it.

Joy strikes a pose in a self-portrait by Nicholas

Today, Joy is very close to much of his extended family. As to what gives him courage and hope, he explained, “good things that I see every day and, you know, positive things that I live every day, they inspire me to be more successful, to move on, and to achieve all of my goals.” He is looking forward to having a nice living, “to be more successful,” but at the age of 19, I’d say he’s off to a great start!


Nicholas Snow's Notes From The World

Nicholas Snow

This column presents stories of courage, strength and hope of individuals worldwide who are passionately involved in the struggle for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered civil rights as well as the battle against HIV/AIDS, demonstrating how these issues are inseparable from the overall fight for human rights for everyone. In addition, the column infuses travel and entertainment reporting into the mix to not only celebrate the freedoms that exist for many of us, but to contrast these freedoms against the dark realities of individuals living in more oppressed situations where sometimes their very lives are at risk. More columns...

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This column, Nicholas Snow's Notes From The World, was conceived out of a longtime collaboration between Nicholas Snow, editor/mentor Mona de Crinis, and The Bottom Line Magazine in Southern California, the "anchor publication" of the print version of this column.

For information on how your media outlet (newspaper, magazine or web site) may secure rights to carry this column (and become a media partner with the NotesFromTheWorld.com family of web sites) please email Nicholas Snow directly at Orbit@NotesFromTheWorld.com. Our debut media partners are acknowledged in the above gallery.

Masthead photo of Nicholas Snow credit/copyright Kevyn Major Howard